Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t tend to hold back when criticizing something, especially movies. Hyperbolic derision is usually followed by gleeful deconstruction, trying to parse out how something that sucked so bad got made (and released). Lately, tho, I’ve tried to put a damper on that behavior, or at least restrict it to chatter among close friends. Why?

First, I’ve learned the hard way that writing a screenplay isn’t easy. In fact, I am convinced that this is the main reason there are so many sucky movies released every year. It’s f*cking hard just to get the damn thing to work, much less culminate, deliver strong characters, and make you give a damn about it all… From blockbuster misfires to indie snore-fests, the range of pitfalls is endless and vast, and it is no surprise that even very clever filmmakers produce duds.

The other reason is that as I progress as a filmmaker, I find myself increasingly in the company of people who may well have had a direct hand in delivering the pic in question… Better most times to offer an honest yet thoughtful reaction (you know, “not for me,” that sort of thing) than to let ‘er rip and discover that the “steaming sh*tpile” I’m laughing about was this or that person’s pet project.

But every once in a while, there comes an idea so heinous, with a marketing campaign so deliberately, offensively moronic and misguided, that all caution can (and should) be tossed aside. Let the fun begin.